The President said that he had been patiently waiting for the stock market to go up, but its flagging performance in recent weeks had left him with no alternative but to invade Iraq.

Turning to the subject of unemployment, Mr. Bush said, “Everything would be better if Saddam Hussein were unemployed.”

White House press secretary Ari Fleischer said that the State of the Union Address proved that the President was “totally focused” on the economy, adding, “The President’s message couldn’t be clearer: ‘It’s the economy, Saddam.’”

Mr. Bush’s three-point economic plan, as unveiled in the State of the Union Address, aims to stimulate economic growth by removing Saddam Hussein, removing Saddam Hussein and removing Saddam Hussein.

Andy Borowitz

Please also read:
FINDING GOOD REASON FOR WAR COULD TAKE MONTHS, BUSH WARNS
US Prepared to Fight With or Without Reason, President Assures Nation

The Borowitz Report
http://www.borowitzreport.com
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