In his historic announcement at the White House, Mr. Bush introduced himself seven times to reporters and said that in his first official act as Treasury Secretary he would change the motto on U.S. coins and currency from “E Pluribus Unum” to “My Way or the Highway.”

Dr. Edwin Kragen, a professor of political science at the University of Minnesota, said that the president’s decision to hire himself seven times may turn out to be his boldest stroke to date.

“While he may not get the diversity of opinion one wants at Cabinet meetings, on the positive side, he won’t need as many chairs and glasses of water,” Dr. Kragen said.

Elsewhere, at the New York Stock Exchange yesterday Vice President Dick Cheney rose eight dollars a share in active trading.

Andy Borowitz

The Borowitz Report
http://www.borowitzreport.com

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