The Attorney General said that New York’s Central Park would be off-limits to protesters for the duration of the Convention, but said that space for the protesters to speak and assemble was being reserved in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
The Gitmo location was chosen, Mr. Ashcroft said, to facilitate military tribunals for the protesters immediately after they are done speaking and assembling.
The Gitmo location was chosen, Mr. Ashcroft said, to facilitate military tribunals for the protesters immediately after they are done speaking and assembling.
Elsewhere, White House spokesman Scott McClellan said Vice President Dick Cheney was entitled to receive overtime pay as an emergency worker, explaining, “Everything Dick Cheney touches turns into an emergency sooner or later.”
On the campaign trail, Mr. Cheney did not address the overtime issue but reiterated his opposition to gay marriage, saying, “I’m sure as hell not paying for one.”
On the campaign trail, Mr. Cheney did not address the overtime issue but reiterated his opposition to gay marriage, saying, “I’m sure as hell not paying for one.”
Finally, President Bush’s daughters Barbara and Jenna cancelled their convention speech scheduled for next Wednesday, citing a conflict with Ladies’ Night.
Andy Borowitz
For more perceptive satire,
please visit
THE BOROWITZ REPORT regularly ! http://www.borowitzreport.com
Andy Borowitz
For more perceptive satire,
please visit
THE BOROWITZ REPORT regularly ! http://www.borowitzreport.com