Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge called the latest information “sobering” and said the only way to counteract the al-Qaeda plot would be by postponing the fall elections “indefinitely.”
Mr. Ridge said that postponing elections in the U.S. would set a positive example for both Iraq and Afghanistan by demonstrating that in a democracy, elections can be successfully postponed.
Mr. Ridge said that postponing elections in the U.S. would set a positive example for both Iraq and Afghanistan by demonstrating that in a democracy, elections can be successfully postponed.
The only possible alternative to such a postponement, Mr. Ridge said, would be for voters on Election Day to wrap themselves in duct tape and plastic sheeting until any al-Qaeda threat had passed.
He added that he was not playing politics with his latest pronouncements, telling reporters, “We don’t do politics at the Department of Homeland Security – that’s the Supreme Court’s job.”
Andy Borowitz
For more perceptive satire, such as:CIA WANTED MISSING WMD TO BE ‘A SURPRISE’ Planned to Tell President on Birthday, Tenet Reveals,
please visit
THE BOROWITZ REPORT regularly ! http://www.borowitzreport.com
Please also see:
THE TERMINATOR’S TERM, TOTALLY RECALLED !
By Andy Borowitz
http://www.borowitzreport.com/books.asp
He added that he was not playing politics with his latest pronouncements, telling reporters, “We don’t do politics at the Department of Homeland Security – that’s the Supreme Court’s job.”
Andy Borowitz
For more perceptive satire, such as:CIA WANTED MISSING WMD TO BE ‘A SURPRISE’ Planned to Tell President on Birthday, Tenet Reveals,
please visit
THE BOROWITZ REPORT regularly ! http://www.borowitzreport.com
Please also see:
THE TERMINATOR’S TERM, TOTALLY RECALLED !
By Andy Borowitz
http://www.borowitzreport.com/books.asp