But in Congress, leading Republicans said that renaming the Canadian national anthem “O Ronald Reagan” was “no biggie” and attributed selfish motives to Canada’s refusal.

“After all Ronald Reagan did for them, these Canadians are acting like a bunch of ingrates,” said Senator James M. Inhofe (R-OK). “It’s no wonder some of them speak French, if you catch my meaning.”

Mr. Imhofe said that if Canada held fast to its position, the U.S. would ask Mexico or possibly England to change its name, “but if all else fails, there’s always Iraq.”

Elsewhere, the Bush re-election campaign announced today that after a week-long hiatus, it would resume airing blistering attack ads about Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) at 12:01 AM Saturday.

The ads will air on a relentless, round-the-clock basis in every state of the country because, in the words of Bush strategist Karl Rove, “We have a week’s worth of catching up to do.”

Satire by
Andy Borowitz

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