"grass-eating crybabies"
An official with the American Petroleum Institute was quick to praise the endeavour. "We see this as a courageous move to protect polar bears or Eskimos or whatever the f**k it is those tree-hugging, grass-eating crybabies are whining about today," he said, standing in front of an open fireplace in his office, rubber tyres burning merrily on the hearth.
An official with the American Petroleum Institute was quick to praise the endeavour. "We see this as a courageous move to protect polar bears or Eskimos or whatever the f**k it is those tree-hugging, grass-eating crybabies are whining about today," he said, standing in front of an open fireplace in his office, rubber tyres burning merrily on the hearth.
"And of course, we fully support President Bush's decision to choose our model fan for the project - the 'Combusto 5000' - which can run on as little as 20 gallons of fuel per day."
However, a preliminary test using hundreds of the fans in Muncie, Indiana failed to provide any conclusive proof that the fans were effective, although the Government insisted that the full project would yield the desired temperature drop. Moreover, local residents objected to the continual noise and noxious fumes that each fan emitted during its operation.
However, a preliminary test using hundreds of the fans in Muncie, Indiana failed to provide any conclusive proof that the fans were effective, although the Government insisted that the full project would yield the desired temperature drop. Moreover, local residents objected to the continual noise and noxious fumes that each fan emitted during its operation.
"unwary pets"
"People didn't seem to enjoy having these rather unsightly devices in their yards," explained project coordinator Derek Gadd. "In addition, a number of unwary pets were blown right through the damn things, which made quite a mess and caused some resentment within the local population. Especially during the 'Bring a Hamster' summer parade for the local kids" he added.
"People didn't seem to enjoy having these rather unsightly devices in their yards," explained project coordinator Derek Gadd. "In addition, a number of unwary pets were blown right through the damn things, which made quite a mess and caused some resentment within the local population. Especially during the 'Bring a Hamster' summer parade for the local kids" he added.