U.S. Questions Size of North Korean Nuke Blast; Kim Jong-Il Says Size Does Not Matter (satire?) by Andy Borowitz

Article image 'The Earth Moved', Claims North Korean Dictator
Just days after U.S. officials expressed their doubts about the size of North Korea's recent nuclear test, North Korean president Kim Jong-Il lashed out at his American doubters today, releasing a terse statement from Pyongyang asserting that "size does not matter".

On Tuesday, the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS) measured the North Korean nuclear blast at a magnitude of 4.2 and released the following statement: "Based on our measurements, what Kim Jong-Il actually has is much smaller than what he claims he has."
This statement drew a fierce rebuttal from Mr. Kim, who said that the size of the blast did not matter, adding that other factors such as "strength and endurance" must be taken into account when evaluating a nuclear test.

Those comments did not go unanswered for long, however, as the USGS responded that the blast lasted only 2.3 seconds, adding, "That may have been good for him, but it was not good for us."

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