IRAQ TRIES TO GIVE SOVEREIGNTY BACK, by Andy Borowitz

Article image “No Way”, Says Cheney

One day after the United States transferred sovereignty to Iraq, Iraq unsuccessfully attempted to give sovereignty back to the United States.


The decision to return sovereignty to the U.S. surprised many in diplomatic circles, since most had expected the Iraqis to keep sovereignty for at least two days and possibly even longer than that.

But in an official statement to reporters today in Baghdad, Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi said that “one day of sovereignty was more than enough, thank you very much.”

Mr. Allawi said that he had been “sold a bill of goods” by former Coalition Provisional Authority chief Paul Bremer III, who had led Mr. Allawi to believe that Iraq was in much better condition than it actually was.
The Iraqi said he had been persuaded by Mr. Bremer to attend a “travelogue-like” slide-show about Iraq with the promise that he would receive a new set of Samsonite luggage and a 13-inch color television in exchange for forty-five minutes of his time.

Once Mr. Allawi realized that Iraq was “nothing like” the country depicted in the slide-show, the Iraqi leader tried to return sovereignty to Mr. Bremer, but found that he had not left a forwarding address or phone number.


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